Millennial Caregiver Looks Back on 6 Years with Mom
Jacqueline Revere, “momofmymom” on social media, was just 29 when a phone call interrupted her “best life” in New York.
On the subway on her way to a friend’s comedy show, she got a call letting her know her mother and grandmother needed her help. Her grandmother was 78 and had been diagnosed four years earlier with memory loss. Her mother was just 59 when doctors found evidence of Alzheimer’s disease. Revere thinks both may have been impacted by leaking carbon monoxide.
Revere was one of the earliest caregivers on social media, sharing her experiences with her mom on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms where she gained thousands of fans, many of whom are fellow caregivers. She chose the name “MomofMyMom” after her mother called her “Mommy,” which she captured on video and recently shared. She continues to give and receive support to and from other caregivers on all her platforms.
Her popular posts often showed her mom with her joyfully enjoying music and dancing. “My mom always loved music. She was always someone when she’d hear her favorite song, she would just stand up and she would snap. And you could hear her snap all over the entire house. For me, starting with music was something that I knew would work and I knew would always get her mood to a better place,” she told Solace.
When she moved back across the country to Los Angeles, she never expected the move to be permanent, but she cared for her mother Lynn Hindmon for six years.
She overcame obstacles, helping save her mom’s house by opening rooms for an Airbnb and persevered when a stutter made communicating with bureaucrats difficult.
Her mother passed away in March. Revere is understandably still grieving her loss and figuring out her next steps.
“I now realize that only time could have taught me the lessons needed for being a caregiver,” the aspiring late-night TV writer recently shared in an L.A. Times Op-Ed. Revere is just one of America’s 50 million unpaid caregivers, almost a quarter of them Millennials like her.
Revere says it wasn’t really possible to fully process everything while it was happening, so now she’s taking the time to look back at the many roles she played. “There were times where I knew without a doubt ‘that’s my momma’ and then there were moments where I felt like I was parenting a teenager who just had an attitude. There were times where it just felt like I was being there for someone younger and then there were times when it felt like I was being there for someone who absolutely was having cognitive decline. I think evolving with each one is the key.”
As she looks back, Revere says she’s letting go of regret and focusing on the joy she and her mom shared with each other and their fans.
“Now that I’m even learning more about dementia, sometimes I wish I had done more, or was better, or knew everything from the start, but also looking back at videos shows me that we had so much fun, and mommy was really happy, and what more could I want?”
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